And everything sucks.

It sucks that I love you, when I don’t even want to be in love with you. I just wanted to be friends but these feelings popped up out of nowhere. For a while, you were the first thing I thought about when I woke up and the last thing I thought about when I went to sleep. I’ve dreamt about you a total of SIX times over the course of 1-2 months. I’ve never dreamt about anyone that often. And I felt LITERALLY physically and mentally unwell when I considered if you didn’t want to be with me.

Love is a scary feeling. It’s a feeling where you’re the most vulnerable to this person, and the smallest things that they do to hurt you can almost literally crush you. And it’s scary to know that someone has that much power over your emotions. And that’s why I sometimes tried not to speak to/text/message/see you for sometimes days or weeks at a time, even though we were used to talking everyday. It’s because I needed to have my thoughts be clear of you. I was, and still kinda am, crazy over you. In case you did say no, I’d at least be able to withstand not being with you.

But no. You still went out of your way to try and see me, waiting by my locker, constantly texting me, messaging me when I tried to just be clear from you and reclaim my sanity. You’d even ask my friends why I have been avoiding you. And eventually, I’d give in and talk to you again.

So, ok, before ignoring you sometimes, I asked you out…through text because you said you don’t like talking over the phone and a certain someone wouldn’t leave us alone when we were together…heh. And, to my surprise, you said that you DID like me, but I gave the vibe that I just wanted to be friends before and you said you weren’t sure how you felt and you said that the timing was off.

So, ok, I waited until the timing was better, and asked you again through text, but you said you’d rather me say it in person. So, I suggested we cut 7th period so that we’d have enough time talk and hangout, together and alone. You said OK. Cool.

So, I ask you again. And the answer again? Maybe. Again. What does that even mean? Are you just fucking with me? Or are you legit not sure?

It’d be a lot easier if you would stop sending me mixed signals. You text/call me all the time when I don’t respond to you, you ask my friends if I’m OK when I stop talking to you for a while, or am keeping things from you, or acting different and when I started talking to you again, you came by my house looking for me when you were in my neighborhood when I didn’t even give you my address. I’m flattered and love that you care about me, but it’s fucking with my head about if you really want me or not.

So, today, just me and you, and I decided to pop the question again asking to quit the fucking games.

So, you tell me to call you tonight and I’d get my answer. I texted asking what time I should call, but no answer to that.

So, I do just call.

And you don’t pick up.

Huh?

So, I text you asking what’s the deal. But, you don’t answer to that either. But you have the time to update your social networking pages from you’re phone, but not answer me?

What the hell is going on here? Do you like me? Do you just wanna be friends? Are you confused? Or are you just fucking with me cause you love attention?

I really hate losing sleep over this, which is what I’m doing by writing this. But I feel a bit better getting it off my chest…

I hope you never read this. I don’t wanna seem weak, or make you get freaked out and I don’t wanna let you know what you have over me. But I also do want you to see it to let you know what you do to me. And seriously, cut the fucking games, please.

I fucking love you.

And I fucking hate you.

And I fucking hate that I love you.

theworldisyourschico:

Ofwgkta+Wavves

(Source: unicorn-sophy)

kingofthabitch:

god i love this picture

(Source: potsmokingrabbitfuckers)

(Source: girlsloverz)

iamdyme:

Based God can do no wrong in my eyes.

(Source: nickkyp)

(Source: notrealthing)

fuckyeahawesomehouses:

Cool Italian loft

Haha, isn’t this technically a studio? 

(Source: houzz.com)

compl3xx:

Fuck a chorus nigga, fuck a melody// used to like a pretty girl named……..// and she could sing like an angel, heavenly// I used to like a another girl named………but she don’t text back no more, is she mad at me?// no offense but I don’t have the luxury of worrying if this girl that I know wanna fuck with me// I’m sorry, excuse my language// speaking in a foreign dialect, call it anguish// dangerous flame spit that you cant hang with// like I got lynched now sitting here dangling//

I haven’t fapped in 2 days

jowin:

I was hella into it. Wanted to bust out a Kingdom Hearts reference and get a bunch of blank stares but I kept my cool lol

(Source: pitchfork)

saintcloudnyc:

Wavves x Fucked Up

(Source: saintcloudnyc)